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Microsoft SQL Server 2008 Express - FREE DOWNLOAD Ideal for Learning & Building Small Server Apps. Centralize Business Logic & Increase Performance.
Oblong's g-speak Brings "Minority Report" Interface to Life
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Massive Martian Glaciers Found
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San Francisco enters Agassi's electric car dream
The San Francisco Bay Area has embraced Shai Agassi's Better Place vision, announcing a "sweeping plan" to drive public and private investments in electric cars and the infrastructure needed to run them.…
Road Rage 101: How To Piss Off Other Drivers
Written by Suzanne Denbow
Perhaps you’ve only just recently acquired your license to drive, or perhaps you’re a grizzled veteran of the salty tarmac, but either way, you’re interested in perfecting the art of driving as a bloodsport. Believe it or not, angering your fellow motorists to the point of inspiring physical violence isn’t a game of chance, but rather a highly scientific, learned skill. To truly master the art of pissing people off, you need the benefit of years of practice behind the wheel of an extremely obnoxious car (I recommend either a tuned Honda CRX or any type of chromed pickup with a lifted suspension), true greatness can’t be achieved overnight. Everyone needs to start somewhere though, so to get you started on your path towards perfection, I’ve outlined below a few tips that will help nurture and extract your hidden inner douchebag.
1. Do Not Use Turn SignalsDo not under any circumstances ever use your turn signal, period. Turn signals or traffic indicators of any kind are a sign of weakness, and they give your enemy valuable information regarding your battle position.
2. Do Not Yield To Drivers Preparing To Execute A TurnIf the driver in front of you indicates that he is preparing to execute a turn, do not slow down. Instead, maintain your constant speed (75 mph highway, or 55 mph residential) and seconds before your car makes high-speed impact with his rear bumper, turn your steering wheel to the right or left (depending on which direction the vehicle is turning) by a fraction of an inch, barely avoiding a full-speed collision. Remember: under no circumstances should you ever remove your foot from the accelerator. In most cases, the amount of space you will have between the turning driver and the next physical barrier (be it a parked car or an oncoming lane of traffic) will be very, very limited, and the faster you are traveling the less likely you are to make contact with any stationary objects.
3. Treat Construction Zones As An Obstacle CourseConstruction zones and the many hurdles they throw at drivers make them the perfect place to hone your skills as an asshole, especially since there’s usually a local cop posted nearby who can serve as an excellent official score keeper. Remember: +1 point for every traffic cone you clip, +2 points for every motorist you cut off when merging, +3 points for every rude hand gesture you receive from the city workers you barely avoid hitting, and +4 points for every additional officer summoned by the aforementioned cop to apprehend your vehicle.
4. Speed Limits Are RelativeIt is not important that you observe the posted speed limit, as long as you observe the speed limit posted by the guy in front you. Yes, that kid barreling down the left hand lane at 90 mph in his Acura RSX is an idiot, but he’s also the guiding light to your wayward ocean liner. As long as you’re travelling slower than Speedy Gonzalez is, when he and you finally blow by that police cruiser, that cop is only going to have the man power to pull over one of you and you can bet he isn’t interested in some stoner driving a beat-up Saab, he’s going for the big game.
5. Behave As Though Out-of-State Tags Grant You Diplomatic ImmunityYou’re from Ohio, venturing onto the New Jersey turnpike for the first time. You’re not sure what exit to take, so you steadily drive 20 mph under the speed limit lest you miss your turn-off. Or perhaps you’re from Georgia, and during your road trip to the shore, you feel it necessary to bestow a little bit of Southern Hospitality on every driver you meet. So in addition to driving at roughly the same speed as the tourist from Ohio, you also make frequent, sudden stops to yield to other motorists - even when you have the right of way.
Although drivers in both cases would be strictly prohibited from operating heavy machinery in their respective home states, their behavior is perfectly acceptable when travelling outside of their state lines. After all, it doesn’t matter how they do it up/down/over here, you’re from Ohio/Georgia/Florida, dammit, and you are the greatest thing on four wheels since Bobby Labonte.
6. There Is No Predetermined “Passing Lane”A commonly held myth amongst most motorists is that passing is only permitted/acceptable in the left hand lane. This is simply not true. A “passing lane” is any unobstructed pathway (including grassy medians) through which you can safely navigate your vehicle around slow-moving motorists while only sustaining minor surface damage.
7. Do Not Talk On Your Cell Phone While Driving. Text Instead.When other drivers see you yakking on your cell phone, they’ll become immediately enraged by your obvious disregard for traffic safety, but they’ll be absolutely livid if they catch you texting while driving. Texting is especially recommend over calling if your phone happens to be equipped with a full QWERTY keyboard, since not only will your attention be completely diverted from the road in front of you, but you’ll also be using your knees to navigate the steering wheel as both hands will be fully occupied texting your bro about the hottie in the Ford Focus next to you.
8. Always Use Halogen HeadlightsHalogen bulbs emit a blinding blue light that drivers both in front of and behind you will enjoy immeasurably. If you can’t quite afford a HID upgrade for your car, opt for using your high-beams at all times, especially at night in heavily congested traffic. If you drive a pickup truck or SUV, it is strongly recommend that you accompany the use of Halogens and/or high-beams with very close tailgating. Remember: you aren’t truly a jackass unless your headlights cause permanent retina damage.
9. Speed Through Parking LotsOne secret every driving jerkoff knows is that you can make your best time by laying rubber in the parking lot. Depending on how densely populated the lot is, you should always aim to maintain an average speed of anywhere from 45-65 mph, possibly higher in the event of inclement weather. Not only will this endanger the safety and well being of any pedestrians, if you’re running late for an appointment, you can also shave minutes off your ETT by cutting diagonally across all the empty stalls and ignoring any stop signs.
10. Drive Like A WomanA good general rule of thumb to follow that encompasses all the basic elements of horrible driving discussed here today is this: before you make any major decision while driving, first ask yourself, “What would a woman do?” If you’re travelling on a four lane highway in the leftmost lane, don’t merge ahead of time into the right-hand lane to avoid a last minute four-lane death race. Instead, maintain a steady 75mph in your current lane and begin to apply a heavy coat of mascara. Then, about 100 yards before your exit, immediately jerk your wheel as hard as you can to the right, smiling sheepishly and giggling girlishly at all the angered motorists behind you.
Or, if you find yourself in the right-hand lane behind a motorist who happens to be travelling too slow for your taste, before you make the logical decision to pass them, try to picture what a woman would do in your situation. Would she pass on the left? No, she wouldn’t. She would tailgate the innocent driver angrily, straining as hard as she could to see over the steering wheel, glaring purposefully at the “total jerk” in front of her. After maintaining about 6 inches of clearance between her and the car in front her for about 10 miles or so, then, and only then, will she pass the driver on the left, making sure to give him the stink eye as she does so.
Remember: most women are born lacking the inherent ability to drive well, so if your ultimate goal is to piss off as many people on the roadway as you can, it would behoove you to duplicate female driving techniques to the best of your ability.
How To Find a Mobile Games Publisher?
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Company sues Facebook over somethingorother
A Ohio-based technology company is suing Facebook for patent infringement, claiming it invented the platform the insanely popular social networking site uses to store and manage information.…
Dell profits take (small) hit in Q3
If you were looking for some good news out of Dell today as it reported its fiscal 2009 third quarter financial results, you will probably be disappointed. But not as much as you might think. That's good news of a sort considering the miserable week the global economy is having.…
Resurrecting the Mighty Mammoth, Cheaply
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Favicon Episode 8
Every now and again we showcase beautiful favicons — tiny pieces of art you’ll usually find in your browser’s address bar or when searching through your bookmarks. Favicons are important as they provide visual indicators to visitors and help them to easily associate the content with a bookmark in their browser. Besides, favicons are just nice to look at and there are way too many sites which don’t make use of them. We like to change things. Which is why here is the 8th episode of the favicons series. For a change a small article with very small images and a quick loading time.
We’ve written enough about favicons in our previous posts. If you’d like to find out more about them, feel free to take a look at our previous posts:
- Part 1: Inspire Yourself: 50 Remarkable Favicons
- Part 2: Inspire Yourself: More Creative Favicons
- Part 3: Creative Favicons: When Small Is Beautiful
- Part 4: Creative Favicons: Tiny Artwork
- Episode 5: The Delicate Beauties
- Favicon Episode 6: Black, Abstract and Hand-Drawing
- Favicon Episode 7
Please notice that the favicons weren’t chosen simply because of their beauty; it’s been important to us that the favicon perfectly fits to the overall site design. Pay close attention to the small details of the design. All favicons are linked to the sites where they are used — you can click on them to get more insights into how favicon design can be related to the layout design. All favicons are listed without a particular order. All images are linked - of course, if the page that contained the favicon still exists.
Nofifu Celsius Compile CodeIgniter Typo3 Switch Tajloro Nicole Bauer Computersight Leisure and Cultural Services Departement Hongkong Sodevious Inspired Buddy Digital Camera Ressource Page Accessites Creative News Bed and Breakfast Brescia Web Urbanist loup de lou Vida Comunicação Clay Ant Patrick Monkel’s Karma Designspotter Train1on1 Turism Point Romania Heartprints The Pennsylvania Federation of College Republicans Burrow Physiotherapy Pontefract Dean J. Robinson Salt Solutions Lyte Byte Foxycart Notified Evoluted Lifesize Iconified Kidsmodern Knoxville Tourism Etnies Maxvoltar we:pressecenter Scrummy Stefano Verna. Yes, a simple idea, but very effective in a bookmarklist. Web Magazine My Bank Tracker Ge a Freelancer. Reminds at Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio de Janeiro. Scinexx Diplod Strands Custom Canvas I like to Design. Last but not least the very animated one.Unix Dict/grep Solves Left-Side-of-Keyboard Puzzle
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Regulators back Bell Canada choking indie ISP traffic
Canada's telecom regulators gave Bell Canada the OK to throttle peer-to-peer Internet traffic on pipes it leases to third-party ISPs.…
SGI shows off Molecule concept machine
While supercomputer maker Silicon Graphics was showing off its existing Altix lines of Xeon and Itanium servers at the SC08 supercomputing show in Austin, Texas, this week, the most interesting thing the company touted was not yet a real computer, but a concept system, called Molecule.…
Fresh Memory 0.4-alpha (Default branch)
A spaced repetition algorithm based on SM-2. The study data is kept in a user-specific directory. Support for multiple fields in cards. A dictionary can have cards with many languages. All dictionaries, cards, and fields are identified with UUIDs. It is possible to add/remove cards or fields in a dictionary without any negative effects to the study data. Support for image includes. Basic HTML tags. Backwards compatibility with 0.3 version dictionaries
boxtream 0.999 (Default branch)
For the very first time, three basic scenarios have been added for people with minimalistic hardware like a single USB Webcam or mini-DV camcorder, so finally Boxtream can be used by everybody. An example script to start both the backend and the frontend on the local machine has been added to further simplify use. Axis Webcams are now handled with the souphttpsrc GStreamer plugin. Minor bugs were fixed all over the place. A small French presentation of the project's history was added to the distribution in the OpenDocument format.
Kaminsky Bug Options Include "Do Nothing," Says IETF
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WYMeditor 0.5 b2 (Default branch)
This release has new translations, and new API calls: wrap() and unwrap(). These new helpers bring support for more inline elements, such as acronym, abbreviation, cite, code, span, etc. Many bugs have been fixed since beta1. The documentation and the test suite have been improved. New example pages have been added. Last but not least, work is being done on a WYMeditor-based RDFa editor. A proof of concept is available in the package or the repository browser.
Microsoft's Internet Explorer 8 planned for 2009
The "standards-compatible" next edition of Internet Explorer has been bumped into 2009 by Microsoft.…
Development-Cycle


